Archive for May, 2007

Paraphrase

You can terrorize some Americans all of the time, but you cannot terrorize all Americans all of the time.

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Giant Spider Part Two

DIM MAK was wondering why Mr. Fu had not posted any pictures of the giant spider.  That prompted Mr. Fu to capture the spider when the spider revealed himself.  The giant spider is now imprisoned in a coffee can, awaiting photographic equipment to be used to record him in all his giant spider glory.

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Let’s Define

Previously Mr. Fu posted a quote that stated in part, “People are basically good. ”  Now Mr. Fu recognizes that flies in the face of Judeo-Christian expectations of humanity.  But let us fix any mix up by forcing a definition.  If you are not basically good, let’s define you as “not people.”  Then recognize that as “not people” you may be a rabid animal that needs to be put down for the good of society / civilization / humanity / whatever.

Cold hearted?  Perhaps, but one would not expect less from Mr. Fu.

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Something To Believe In

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Reasons to Impeach President Bush

Mr. Fu has long advocated an impeachment of President Bush as potentially tying up the dunderheads in Congress so they will not bother us.  The Anchoress makes a good case for impeachment in the face of the constant lies of the commies.

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Giant Spider

WO FIRES discovered a spider the size of Mr. Fu’s foot in the restroom here at the Office-in-the-Woods:

WO FIRES:  Mr. Fu, come look at this spider.

Mr. Fu:  That is one big spider.

WO FIRES:  He is on his way to becoming a tarantula.

Mr. Fu:  Maybe he wants to play mumbly-peg? <throws knife at spider>

WO FIRES:  I can’t believe you missed.

Mr. Fu:  Dang!  He’s got my knife!  <distracts spider with slice of roast beef, retrieves knife>

That is the largest spider Mr. Fu has ever seen in the wild.  Probably a 2.5 inch leg spread, not stretched out.

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A Thoughtful Post

It is about time for a thoughtful post.  To paraphrase Dr. Johnson, I will keep it short so that it can be remembered.  W. Somerset Maugham once said, “The ability to quote is a servceable substitute for wit.”

Okay, perhaps he said it twice.

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The Importance of Eating Animals

Instapundit points to a problem: Veganism means death! At least for infants and plants. One of my favorite t-shirts says:

“And how many plants had to die for your salad?”

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Lileks, An Amateur Critical Review

Lileks is at it again.  Without proving his credentials for it, he continues to try to be funny in a blog.  He succeeds, but that should not distract you from the facts that Lileks is neither a standup comedian, has never had a sitcom, nor worked as a writer on Your Show of Shows.  At best he seems to have dropped out of college and spent the last two decades swindling newspapers out of their hard earned money posing as some sort of writer.

The review:

Lileks blogs about his life, then quickly jumps into the national debate on immigration (he probably touts his trips to Arizona as giving him status as a Subject Matter Expert [SME] on the subject).  He attempts to use humor to point out how ridiculous the whole bill is, a method stolen straight from Rush Limbaugh, and he mostly succeeds (again).   He then jumps into a critical review of a critic, Richard Schickel.  Lileks humorously criticizes Schickel’s criticism of what Schickel considers unqualified critics.  Lileks’ criticism shows two things, 1) he is probably too tuned into who critics are and what they do, and 2) he has a time machine, as he obviously stole my line of thought here and went back in time to blog about it (the writers of West Side Story had the same problem with Shakespeare, so I am in good company).

Lileks goes on to review the TV show 24 and convinces me to abandon my plans of investing in those DVDs of 24:

The problem is this: I don’t care. I’m tired of it all and I just want it over. I could take another 19 episodes of the Sopranos, in which all the plot points are stretched to the consistency of an individual filament of dental floss; fine with me, as long as the writing and direction and acting maintain the same exquisite quality. But this? It’s like an entire season of “Spock’s Brain.”

Gah!  And at this point I must admit that I chuckled out loud and questioningly repeated the words, “Walgreen’s house brand?”

The criticism of 24 by the un-credentialed critic Lileks continues:

The US gets nuked and half-nuked, and at the end of the day we not only fail to do squat, we fire everyone in the organization responsible for preventing three other nuclear blasts.

If that is not reality in writing, I do not know what is!  Sounds like the current Federal government right down to the soles of Sandy Berger’s unincarcerated feet.

All in all, for Lileks’ amateurish effort, I have to give him an A+.  He continues to display a boring uniform sameness in continuing to write well and humorously.

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That Too

More from Steve:

It used to be that when you died, the worms were the first scavengers to get to the corpse. Now Hitchens beats them to it.

Manners are not what they used to be I suppose.  The whole atheism thing just strikes me as funny anyway.  But I guess if you throw crap on a Christian it is more newsworthy than an atheist with crap on them, less in keeping with people’s preconceived notions of Christians.

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Best Ex-President?

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Another Funny Thing, The World

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Numbers Are A Funny Thing

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Fred, Yeah, President, Yeah

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Good Answer, Fred!

The wonderous Fred Thompson replies to Michael Moore’s debate challenge.  More reason why Fred should be President.

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Finished With Blows to the Kidneys

Oleg Atbashian finishes his two part article on the lessons Boris Yeltsin has for America.  Quoting from the article would do it an injustice.  Just read it.

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Bringing Corporate Security to a New Level

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The Winter of Our Discontent

Made glorious summer by this son of Butka.  Oleg Atbashian writes of the lessons for America offered by Boris Yeltsin:

They may believe their protest leads to more freedom – but freedom can’t be increased by abusing and disparaging it. Objectively, they diminish freedom by providing hope and moral support to dictators, helping tyrants to brainwash their populations, and knocking the ground from under the feet of real fighters for freedom. That makes them a tool in the hands of a reactionary totalitarian ideology. As if supporting communist dictatorships were not enough, “progressive” rallies now also feature slogans backing the Iranian regime that imprisons and tortures its own dissidents.

It is continuously amazing how the Leftists imagine mass murder, gulags, and dictators within the United States, and fail to recognize the all too real mass murder, gulags, and dictators in the rest of the world.  They seem to rail against Nazis well enough, but the natures of the Stalins, Maos, Pol Pots, and Castros of the world are invisible to them.  Is it that they fail to perceive that the Nazis were just as left of center as they are?

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Understand What Is Really Desired

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Links to Try

Infidels are Cool – Oh boy are we!

Leibowitz’s Canticle – Interesting, but not the guy from the book.  I don’t even think his wife is named Emma.

The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles – Were there monkeys?  Terrible space monkeys?  He is an old link that I am finally getting back to reading.  He also hangs with Frank J. at:

IMAO – Home of Frank J. and the delightful Fred Thompson facts….

Hatless in Hattiesburg – Only a short drive away from where GRAND FU BAH grew up.  But in his day it took a bit on horseback.  Though eventually the Model T cut down on the transit time.

MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy – a local gal who may be a shadow government like Mr. Fu.

Bill’s Bites – You better bet he can learn some new tricks.

The Lasso of Truth – Conservative in Canada?  Maybe it’s a trend.

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