Archive for Nerdish Geekage
Not As Interesting
Ted Kaczynski’s cabin in the woods is no where near as interesting as the idea of Mr. Fu’s “The Cabin in the Woods.”
Funny Reply To Firearm Death Statistics
FACT: 98% of all people will die in their lifetime.
Heck, at least 98%. This statistic will be invalid in the event of the Rapture however. (Item from this post)
Still In Need Of A Squid Lawgiver
Fisherman caught an 1,102 pound colossal squid. Based on the beak size of his specimen, compared to those they have found in sperm whales, larger members may tip the scales at 2,000 pounds. Of course there was some calamari prepared the celebrate.
X-Ray Fluorescence Reveals Hidden Writings
Scientists are using x-ray fluorescence to uncover previously unknown writings of Archimedes hidden under gold leaf paintings. Given Mr. Fu’s experience with x-ray fluorescence he is surprised this method had not been considered before. Perhaps it was, but th article did not make that clear.
Still, this is a big win for physics used to help archeology. Dr. Jones would be proud.
The Words of Fu
Engineer: “But the user will know that means!”
Mr. Fu: “That assumes a user not in evidence.”
There Have Been Worse Religions
Mr. Fu wrote this in response to a friend who was wondering what happened to “Christmas” stationery (slightly edited):
Yes, the redefining of Christmas into a Winter Holiday. Like a Winter Holiday is not religious in and of itself? The Druids were up to no good this time of year and everyone whose ancestors painted themselves blue knows it! While Jewish kids were spinning the dradel Mr. Fu’s ancestors were living in caves, only going out to shove rocks around for a religious experience.Now that would be a real imposition of religion on someone, drag them out to a field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska and make them stack ten ton rock columns up in the snow. They think Christianity can be intrusive and obnoxious? They can just wait until a Druid drops a 20,000 pound rock on their numb foot in the middle of December trying to get the calendar back up and running in time for Winter Solstice!
Why Boxing Is High Culture
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
- Jack Handey
It reminds Mr. Fu of REPSLEH MIJ’s story of his artsy-fartsy girlfriend back in the day making him go see the latest Martin Scorsese film. She was gushing about how great a director Scorsese was and the art of it all. So REPSLEH, being a man’s man for all his being a freak in those days, was looking forward to this like root canal without the benefit of anesthesia or liquor. They get into the theater, girlfriend still gushing, and the film starts rolling. Taxi Driver. REPSLEH is in hog heaven, “It was like a Sam Peckinpah movie!”
Girlfriend squirms, cannot believe her beloved Scorsese has done such a thing and she wants to leave. REPSLEH is having none of it, he is staying until the credits have rolled. The relationship did not last long after that….
Taxi Driver, where ballet meets boxing.
Maybe The Google April Fool’s Was Not So Foolish?
No! Windows Is Really Secure!
There is not a simple plug-in device that Microsoft has given to law-enforcement to crack your system wide open to gather evidence of all your wrong doing. Oh wait, yes there is.
Microsoft != Security ???
The Scourge of DVDs
The threat to your Video Home Entertainment System! See how there is a better, more innocent technology that is as American as apple pie. (Linked from the accursed time wasters at Retro Thing)
Another Time Waster
As if Fail Blog was not enough, now comes Retro Thing.
Retro Thing points to how to build your on ZX80 computer, if you lack a job, hobbies, friends, and family.
Cats and Engineers, A Natural Combination
Cat aspect ratios, corporal cuddling, cat yodeling, and cat static electricity, a video overview of cats from an engineering perspective:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHXBL6bzAR4
Next Mr. Fu hopes to see their work on cats with buttered toast strapped to their backs.
Yes, Interesting, But….
The ESA proposes a long duration study to mimic a 17 month trip to and from Mars. But that is because the eggheads at NASA and the ESA will not look at the real practical solution that would get you there in less then one month, Project Orion! Typical, summed up best by Bruce Willis in Armageddon:
Harry Stamper: What’s your contingency plan?
Truman: Contingency plan?
Harry Stamper: Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right?
Truman: No, we don’t have a back up plan, this is, uh…
Harry Stamper: And this is the best that you c - that the government, the *U.S. government* could come up with? I mean, you’re NASA for crying out loud, you put a man on the moon, you’re geniuses! You’re the guys that’re thinking shit up! I’m sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You’re telling me you don’t have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world’s hope, that’s what you’re telling me?
Truman: Yeah.
The days of NASA thinking shit up may have passed.
A Lawyer To Like
Kurt Denke, the president of Blue Jeans Cable responds to a cease and desist by Monster Cable. The result is one of the most enlightening and humorous bit of legalese it has ever been Mr. Fu’s pleasure to read. This is how you respond to a legal bully:
Mr. Fu suggests you shop at Blue Jeans Cable just to support free enterprise and fair dealing.
